If Wishes Were Horses
by Amethyst6
Summary: On the anniversary of Gretchen's death, Kathryn returns home and receives an unexpected visitor (It may not be who you think it is). Entered in Sylvia's Anniversary Contest.


DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but this story. All characters belong to Paramount.  
  
Summary: On the anniversary of Gretchen's death, Kathryn returns home to face past ghosts and receives an unexpected visitor. (Don't be so sure you know who it is though). Please read and respond. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Nlh275@famvid.com  
  
Rated: G   
  
If Wishes Were Horses  
  
Kathryn stepped off the transport, squinting her eyes against the bright glare of the sun, and stared up at the huge white house. Her childhood home stood like a beacon in the fog, welcoming her back. Tears gathered in her eyes as a wave of melancholy washed over her. Two years had passed since she'd stepped foot on Indiana soil. It had been just as long since she'd been inside that house.   
  
Fighting back the errant tears, she took a stroll around the house, looking critically at the enormous structure. Phoebe had done a good job taking care of the place. The house had been empty for over a year, but showed no signs of abandonment. The grass was neatly mowed, the bushes were neatly trimmed and there were no weeds in sight. The flower garden her mother had been so proud of was even starting to sprout.   
  
Kathryn had wanted nothing to do with the home that was left to her and Phoebe when her mother died. Nothing existed here for her anymore. The matriarch was gone.  
  
The ceremony had been small and private. Many of Voyagers crew sent their condolences but Kathryn was too sorrowful to deal with them. Days after the funeral, Phoebe had to practically drag Kathryn to help with the last minute details. It was a heartbreaking chore, especially for Kathryn who had such a short time with her mother before her death.   
  
She'd held on as long as she could for her eldest daughter; convinced that Voyager and its Captain would make it home from the Delta Quadrant. Kathryn had been surprised when Starfleet offered her an immediate leave. Gretchen Janeway was well known. No one knew for certain how long she had left. Kathryn had been hesitant to leave though, not knowing what was going to happen to her crew. They didn't understand her reluctance, but quickly alleviated her concerns, when they assured her that the crew would be taken care of and no one would receive prison time. It was all she needed to know. Fleeing San Francisco to be with her ailing mother, she had no idea what to expect when she got there. Amazingly enough, Gretchen had surprised them all and hung on for another eight months.   
  
After the funeral, Kathryn escaped back to Starfleet and demanded an assignment. She didn't care what it was; she just knew she needed to work. They wanted to extend her leave but she insisted that she didn't need it. She was stationed planet-side. Kathryn suspected it was to keep an eye on her but she didn't care. Work became her escape. She put in long hours and short nights.  
  
She avoided the crew, telling herself she was far too busy to socialize. In reality, she couldn't deal with the knowing looks. She'd lost more than her mother when they returned to the Alpha Quadrant. She didn't want their pity. Chakotay made his choice, and it wasn't her.   
  
There was nothing she could do about it. Many of the crew, she knew, accepted the offer of leave, reconnecting with family and friends. But some loyal few, like Tom and Belanna, stayed behind. They were worried about her. They knew that while the lost of her mother was devastating, there was a lot more going on that was making Kathryn push herself to the brink. More than she was ready to face.   
  
It wasn't until she'd almost fainted with exhaustion during a meeting with the Admiralty that they considered relieving her of duty. She was given a choice, take leave voluntarily or be forced into it. Kathryn considered making them force her to leave until it was pointed out that forced leave, would be a lot longer and she would have to go through several evaluations before given permission to return to duty. Defeated, Kathryn took the required time off. Spending time with Tom, Belanna and little Miral had been wonderful. It was only after they'd started to push her to talk about Chakotay that she'd decided it was time to move on. The invitation from Phoebe came right on time. It was she who encouraged Kathryn to visit Indiana. Kathryn resisted, still not ready to face whatever ghost lye in wait.   
  
With a month left on leave, she began feeling restless. Kathryn found herself at wits end trying to stay occupied and keep her thoughts from straying. She missed her mother terribly and eventually she had to admit to herself that she was lonely. On the eve of her mother's death, Kathryn's thoughts centered on her old homestead. Feeling an overwhelming need to be close to her mother once again, she made a decision. Dropping Phoebe a note, she made her way to Indiana.  
  
There she stood, breathing in the warm spring air, letting the wind flow through her shoulder-length auburn hair. A smile tugged at her lips as she remembered the days of old when she and Phoebe, as children, would play outside in this wide-open space. For hours and hours on end they would run, flip, climb trees and go swimming in the river just beyond their property. As they grew older, Kathryn became more reserved preferring to read rather than play. But she still had her moments when the outdoors called to her.   
  
Kathryn turned and headed up the steps, digging in her pocket for the old-fashioned key to open the door. Stepping into the foyer, she dropped the duffel bag hanging from her shoulder and breathed deeply. Memories assailed her as the scent of fresh pine reached her nostrils. It smelled like the same brand of polish her mother used. Transported back in time, she could hear her mother humming softly to herself as she prepared lunch, while picturing Phoebe taking control of the holovid. Sunlight would be shining brightly through the windows, as a gentle breeze lazily blew the curtains all about. She, of course, would be somewhere reading a book, or if her father happened to be home, she would be with him in his office, asking endless questions about his recent missions.   
  
Kathryn shook her head. It was a wonder he didn't send her on her way. But he never tired of her questions. Answering, if he could, with a patience that Kathryn didn't fully appreciate at the time.   
  
Tears once again welled up in her eyes but they didn't stop there. Silently they slid down her cheeks as she went farther into the house, touching and caressing objects along the way. She hadn't really asked Phoebe about the condition of the house. She'd just assumed that most things would be packed away and that the furniture would be covered in white sheets to protect from dust. She hadn't expected this...lived-in feeling. None of the furniture was covered but there wasn't any dust, Kathryn found as she ran her hand across the furnishings.   
  
Making her way into the kitchen, a sob caught in her throat as she looked around. Everything was exactly as she remembered. It didn't take much imagination to see her mother standing behind the counter preparing caramel brownies. Kathryn swore she could almost smell them baking. The memories were sharp and vivid to the point it was almost overwhelming. For a minute, she thought she heard her mother humming. Forcing herself to move, she walked over to the window. Unleashing the clasp that held it closed, she adjusted her grip on the wood pane surrounding the bottom of the window. Kathryn lifted and jerked when the window opened with less effort than she needed. Retracing her steps back to the main room, she opened windows there, as well, watching as the curtains ballooned outward. The gentle movement had a calming effect on her jittery nerves.  
  
Slowly, she made her way up the winding stairway, recalling the days when the cold Indiana winters made it impossible for her and Phoebe to go outside to play. The games her mother would come up with for the girls were rather ridiculous now that she thought about them, but back then it meant the world to her and Phoebe.   
  
Kathryn stopped halfway on the stairwell and turned around to face the way she'd come. Her mother used to do the same on nights when Edward Janeway had special functions at Starfleet and she was expected to attend. It had been very rare to see Gretchen Janeway in a formal gown. But when she did wear them, they would be the most gorgeous gowns Kathryn had ever seen. Gretchen would pause midway and clear her throat, getting her daughters' attention. And as they watched in awe, she'd descend the stairs elegantly, putting on a big show for them. Kathryn remembered thinking her mother was the most beautiful person in the world. She would tell her so every time and every time Gretchen would bow before her daughters and in the most timid voice she would say, "Why thank you, madam." Which would have her girls in stitches for hours.  
  
A crooked smile crossed her lips as she continued up the stairs. Kathryn visited each room, taking time to reminisce and reflect. The memories were no longer overwhelming her, making her feel like she needed to escape. Instead she welcomed them, surrounded herself in them, taking what little comfort she could from them. When it came down to it, Kathryn realized memories were all she had.   
  
Sadness still wrapped itself around her heart. She missed her mom so very much. It was like being lost in the Delta Quadrant all over again, only worse. Gretchen was gone and she wasn't coming back. And so was Chakotay. She'd often wondered if she would have been able to handle her mother's death better if Chakotay had been by her side. It was silly she knew, but still she wondered, what if. Pain pierced her heart making her gasp at the intensity of it. She'd needed him. He promised he would be there, yet he was with another. Seven of Nine, no less. She tried hard to accept his decision. She tried to understand it and in her head she understood perfectly. He was lonely and tired of waiting on something that wasn't guaranteed to happen. She never told him how she felt--not in words, anyway. She understood that in her head, but in her heart the betrayal went deep. Her heart didn't understand it and would never accept it.  
  
The last door in the long hallway was closed. Kathryn faltered slightly as she stood outside Gretchen's bedroom. Placing her hand on the doorknob, she hesitated. Raising her hand, she placed it against the door and leaned her forehead against the cool surface. Closing her eyes briefly, she swallowed hard and opened the door.   
  
The fresh smell of spring greeted her nostrils as she stepped inside the bright room. The curtains were pulled to each side of the window, letting in the warm sunlight. A yellow and blue flowered comforter covered the bed with matching decorative pillows placed just so at the head of the bed completing the set. A blue glass vase filled with wildflowers sat elegantly on the nightstand beside the bed and a blue knitted throw lay gently at the foot of the bed. It was just like they'd left it, yet different. Kathryn frowned. They'd never left a vase full of wildflowers.  
  
Gretchen loved wildflowers, Kathryn knew. She could remember Gretchen picking them when she was a little girl. She would always place them beside her bed. Kathryn would ask her why and she would always have the same reply.  
  
"Because they remind of me Spring, Kathryn. And that's what I like to smell when I first wake up. The smell of Spring."  
  
Gretchen had continued that tradition every spring. She, herself, had often gone into Gretchen's room just to smell the flowers. It had been soothing then, just as it was now... Kathryn turned a puzzled gaze to the flowers. Phoebe hadn't been here in a while, yet the flowers looked freshly picked. She was no green thumb but even she knew that those flowers should have been dead by now. How in the world did fresh flowers get in here? Kathryn shrugged. Maybe Phoebe had someone bring in fresh flowers every morning. It was unlikely but Kathryn didn't give it another thought.   
  
Slowly crossing the length of the room, she stared at the old-fashioned dresser with its oval shaped mirror. Nothing remained on the top of the dresser except for an old black and white holoimage of Gretchen and her father on the day they got married. Kathryn picked up the picture and ran her forefinger across their faces.   
  
They look so happy, she thought, as her wayward emotions threatened to spill forth, forming a tight lump in her throat.   
  
"We were."  
  
The words spoken softly in her mother's voice had Kathryn whipping around so quickly she nearly lost her balance. Her eyes flicked from one end of the room to the other, yet the room was empty. She frowned and replaced the picture back on the dresser. She chuckled quietly.   
  
"Now, I'm hearing your voice," she whispered to the picture. Sighing, she sat down heavily on the bed, running her hand over the soft fabric of the comforter. Looking toward the picture, Kathryn felt her sadness return. "God, I miss you mom. I miss you both so much," she whispered softly. "I wish so many things were different. I wish you and Daddy were both here. I wish that we hadn't lost so much time. I wish you could tell me what's wrong with me, why did he leave me? I wish...I wish I wasn't so alone." That was it in a nutshell. She was alone and lonely. Kathryn lay back on the bed, letting the hot tears run silently down the side of her face into her hair. She closed her eyes and crossed her arms around her middle. Fresh tears where released but she didn't bother to brush them away.   
  
"Don't cry, Kathryn. You're not alone."  
  
Familiar, yet somehow different, the words Kathryn knew so well had her sitting upright in the bed. They were his words, but it wasn't his voice. "Mom?" she said hesitantly.  
  
"I'm here, Kathryn."  
  
Kathryn whirled around and gasped. Standing next to the vase full of flowers, dressed in a white flowing gown, hair pulled back in a bun, smiling gracefully, was Gretchen Janeway. Kathryn's eyes widened as she hopped up from the bed and stared at the figure before her. Gretchen had been in her late seventies when she'd passed, yet here she stood looking not a day over fifty.  
  
"Tell me I'm not imagining this? Tell me I'm not crazy."  
  
Gretchen smiled wider. "No, Kathryn you're not crazy and no you're not imagining me."  
  
"Then how...what...." Kathryn closed her mouth. Confusion showed clearly on her face. "What's going on?"  
  
Gretchen laughed lightly. "You needed me, Kathryn. So I'm here."  
  
"But how are you here? You're supposed to be..." Kathryn stopped. She didn't want to say the word, so she waved her hands about as if that would convey what she was trying to say.  
  
Gretchen arched her brow. "Dead?" she supplied.  
  
"Well, yes."  
  
"I can't tell you how exactly I'm here. I'm just here."  
  
Kathryn closed her eyes. "You can't be here. My God, I'm hallucinating."  
  
"Open your eyes Kathryn."  
  
Doing as she was told, Kathryn continued to stare dumbfounded. "How is this possible? Is this a trick?"  
  
Gretchen sighed softly. "This isn't a trick and I'm not a pre-recorded holoimage. I know this will be hard for you, but put aside all the science that says spirits don't exist and accept that I am here. For you."   
  
Pacing the length of the floor, Kathryn blinked several times, glancing warily at her mother. "I don't believe in ghosts. There are no such things as ghosts, yet here I am talking to one," she mumbled to herself. "I have been alone too long. I'm going mad. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have..."  
  
"Kathryn Janeway, stop that this instant."  
  
The sharpness of the tone penetrated Kathryn's boggled mind. She stopped pacing and looked at the woman who was so like her mother.  
  
"I am your mother," she said kindly. "I may not be as real as you are, but I am Gretchen. I am your mother."  
  
"I don't understand how this could be."  
  
"Don't try to understand it, just accept it. Have faith, Kathryn."  
  
Kathryn's mind immediately went to another time when someone else was urging her to have faith. Pushing the image aside, she focused on the woman in front of her. In a million years, Kathryn never would have believed she'd be standing here talking to her deceased mother. It wasn't possible, yet before her very eyes stood Gretchen, patiently waiting for Kathryn to take that leap of faith and believe in what her eyes were telling her. She wanted to, with all her heart, she wanted to. She longed to have her mother back in her life.  
  
But what if this was all an illusion? What if this was some cosmic joke and nothing was real? She pinched herself hard and heard the woman in the corner chuckle. Her head jerked up and their eyes met. In Kathryn's eyes, Gretchen saw confusion, hurt and sadness. In Gretchen's eyes, Kathryn saw patience, love, and concern. She so wanted to believe. She wanted to take that leap of faith.  
  
"Then do, Kathryn. I'm not here to hurt you. I only want to help you go on with your life. It's time, don't you think?"  
  
Yes, she did. But how?   
  
"We'll figure that out together. Will you let me help you?" Gretchen asked.  
  
Kathryn's eyes narrowed. Had she said that aloud?  
  
"I can only hear what your mind lets me hear."  
  
"Stop doing that," said Kathryn.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Kathryn had seen her fair share of the unexplainable but nothing shook her as much as this. She needed this, even if it was all just an illusion, she desperately needed her mother. Kathryn's eyes focused on her mother once again. She was beautiful, always had been up until the day she died. A much younger Kathryn had wished to look like her mother, but it was Phoebe who got the looks between the two. It had bothered her at first, even though Gretchen told her repeatedly that she too was very beautiful. As Kathryn got older it became less of an issue, deciding to focus more on her studies than her lack of beauty. But looking across at her mother now, Kathryn couldn't help but be reminded of her plainness once again.   
  
Her shoulders slumped. It fit, didn't it? That's why he'd left her? He found someone younger, more attractive, and more receptive to his needs. Despair surrounded her and the spark that entered her eyes upon seeing her mother, slowly dwindled.  
  
Gretchen's smile faded. "Don't do this to yourself, Kathryn. You are beautiful no matter what anyone thinks or says, including yourself." Gretchen let out a harrumph as if she'd just been offended. "I'll have you know I have no ugly, nor plain children."  
  
The words were so much Gretchen Janeway, Kathryn smiled and then laughed. Falling down onto the bed she kept laughing until her stomach hurt. Gretchen watched, a small smile of satisfaction on her lips, as she got the desired response. She waited affably while Kathryn got a hold of herself.   
  
Kathryn giggled once more then stopped. She grew quiet, sitting with her legs folded Indian style. Looking up, she whispered wistfully, "I miss you mom."  
  
"I know."  
  
Kathryn glanced down at her hands, intertwined in her lap. She felt like she was ten years old again, sitting on her mother's bed, seeking approval. "Where's Daddy?"  
  
Gretchen waved her hand. "Oh, he's around. We both couldn't be here, so he sent his love. We're both doing well by the way. We're happy to be reunited."  
  
"I'm glad." Kathryn chuckled quietly. "I never believed in life after death," she said wryly. "I guess I'm going to have to change my views."  
  
"Yes," replied Gretchen. "I suppose you will." Gretchen sighed contently, her eyes taking in the room and it's occupant. "Two years ago today I left this world. I left to be reunited with your father and we're happy, Kathryn, really happy. We were apart for far too long. And although I miss you girls terribly, I'm glad to be with him again."   
  
Gretchen regarded her daughter thoughtfully, noting the unhappiness clouding her eyes, turning them to a dull gray. Misery radiated from her, and Gretchen knew that depression wasn't far behind. Sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed, she reached out toward Kathryn. A warmth started in the center of her being and slowly spread throughout her body, wrapping itself around her, providing comfort like a soft, gentle hug. Kathryn gasped and tried to keep the small measure of control she had on her emotions from shattering into tiny pieces.  
  
"Tell me what's wrong, Katie?"  
  
Hearing her pet name whispered in the soft, tender voice was more than she could take. Her mother's image began to blur as tears swelled in her eyes. She felt the sobs start deep within and she could do nothing to stop the rising storm. Gut-wrenching sobs tore through her as she cried for all that she was worth.   
  
This wasn't like her; she wasn't a crier. Even at her parent's funeral, she hadn't shed more than a few tears. But this...this felt good. The warm sensation created by Gretchen's 'hand' made it easy. She'd been pushing herself for so long, trying so hard not to feel anything. Constantly wishing things were different, constantly torturing herself over thoughts of what if. Knowing that nothing she could do would change the outcomes. She had no control. And, that made her that much more determined to pretend that everything was okay. But it wasn't and she could finally admit that to herself.  
  
Kathryn cried until there was nothing left. Gretchen moved away and Kathryn shuddered, feeling the warmth that had surrounded her replaced by an empty coldness. Wiping her face with the kerchief that suddenly appeared in her hands, she breathed deeply.  
  
"Feel better?"  
  
She sniffed and looked up. "Yes, I do." Her voice was low and husky.   
  
"Good. Now you can tell me what that was all about."  
  
Kathryn rose off the bed and walked over to the window. Sighing, she tried to collect her thoughts. How did she explain something she was so unsure of herself. Kathryn shrugged. "I don't really know myself," she said dryly. "I just feel so...out of control. I keep thinking about the past, wishing things could be different. Wishing that you were here, that I didn't feel so alone."  
  
Gretchen's expression softened. "If wishes were horses..."  
  
"What?"  
  
Gretchen waved her hand in front of her dismissively. "Oh it's an old expression your father use to say to me. Something about if wishes were horses, then beggars would ride..." At Kathryn's puzzled look she laughed softly. "Never mind. You were saying...?"  
  
Kathryn frowned and shook her head. "I just wish..."  
  
"Kathryn, dear," Gretchen's calm voice interrupted. "Stop wishing for things passed. Stop trying to punish yourself for decisions already made. Sweetheart, there are many things that I wish were different. But wishing for them doesn't make them so. Don't live in the past, Kathryn. You have your whole life ahead of you. Live it. Don't wish it away. There's so much out there for you, so much more of life for you to enjoy. And you don't have to do it alone. There are people Kathryn who care about you, people who want to help you, who need you as much as you need them. People like Phoebe and that lovely couple from Voyager, the Paris' son...Tom." She paused. "People like...Chakotay."  
  
The name was said softly but firmly, meant to spark a reaction. Gretchen wasn't disappointed. Kathryn's head snapped up and she stared at her mother. Pain flashed briefly in her eyes, followed quickly by a glimmer of hurt before turning to a dull blue-gray. She turned away. It always came back to him. She didn't want to think about Chakotay. He didn't need her. If it didn't hurt so much she would find that statement funny. Chakotay stopped needing her long before they arrived back in the Alpha Quadrant.  
  
"Don't be so sure about that."  
  
"About what?" she asked, becoming used to her mother's ability to read her thoughts. "Chakotay? Oh, I'm pretty sure about him. But I don't want to talk about him right now."   
  
"But isn't he what this is all about?   
  
Kathryn faced her mother. "What do you mean?" she questioned her voice turning hard.  
  
"Don't take that tone with me, Kathryn Janeway. I'm still your mother."  
  
Kathryn sighed. "I'm sorry. I just don't see what Chakotay has to do with any of this."  
  
"Oh, Kathryn. He has everything to do with this. You don't feel this out of control or this restless because you miss your father or me. This isn't about our lost time together. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you do miss us sincerely, but we aren't the source of your loneliness. We aren't the reason you feel so alone and out of sorts."  
  
Kathryn folded her arms across her chest defensively. "Then what, mother."  
  
Gretchen ignored the warning in Kathryn's voice. "It's Chakotay. He's always been there, right underneath the surface of all your concerns. You feel alone because he isn't with you and you miss him terribly. You still love him."  
  
Slowly walking toward the window she stared out unseeingly at the azure sky. A bird landed on the windowsill, chirping loudly in the silence, but Kathryn didn't notice. She tried to push it away, but in the end she knew her mother was right. No matter how much she tried to pretend that what was bothering her was merely missing her mother, it was no use. The more she tried not to think of Chakotay, the more her thoughts strayed to him. More and more lately he was on her mind in one way or another. But what could she do? Chakotay had gone with Seven. He'd found someone else who could make him happy and Kathryn didn't even stand a chance. She didn't even get the chance to tell him that she loved him. Her eyes closed. She still loved him and always would. She would give anything to have him with her.  
  
"It's not too late, Kathryn," said Gretchen.  
  
Her eyes opened and she turned to Gretchen. "What do you mean, it's not too late? He moved on a long time ago mother. I haven't heard from him since we got back. He didn't even say goodbye."  
  
"Have you tried to find him?"  
  
A frown creased Kathryn's brow. "Why would I do that? He's with Seven now. I don't want to interfere with the life he has. Besides, if he wanted to, he could have found me."  
  
Gretchen rolled her eyes. "That's an excuse, Kathryn and you know it. But let's go with that for now. Had he come to you what would he have found? The same woman who withdrew from him the moment she found out about the relationship he had with Seven? The woman who sat beside him on Voyager's bridge, cold and silent? The woman who hadn't given him a chance to explain? Think about it, Kathryn. Had he found you, would he have been welcomed?"  
  
Kathryn opened her mouth to reply, a simple answer at the ready. But it wasn't as simple as she remembered it. It was like someone was pulling her past memories to the front of her mind. The way she reacted to Chakotay, as if he were just her First Officer, not her friend-not the man she loved. His attempts to meet privately with her were deflected. She didn't want to hear him say he was involved with Seven. So she withdrew, hiding behind her Captain's mask to make getting through the day a little easier.  
  
Would she have been receptive to Chakotay? When she'd found out about him and Seven the hurt ran deep. She was angry and determined not to look like a fool. She'd distanced herself from him little by little, until there was nothing left of the friendship they'd once shared. Would Chakotay have felt welcomed?  
  
The short answer was, no. After everything they'd shared, for her to shut him out so completely was unfair. Even though he hadn't been the one to actually tell her about the relationship, even though her heart shattered at the news, she should have at least let him explain. But it was too late. Too much time had passed.   
  
"Perhaps not, Kathryn."  
  
Kathryn started. She'd forgotten her mother was there. But what did that mean? Did she know something?  
  
Gretchen smiled and nodded her head toward the window. "Take another look, outside, dear. Tell me what you see."  
  
Curiosity had Kathryn obeying. She didn't see anything at first. But then she scanned the grounds, squinting as she saw a dark figure striding up the walkway. A large oak tree hid her view. Her breath caught in her throat as the figured emerged from under the tree and his black hair gleamed in the sunlight. She leaned forward and placed her palms against the coolness of the glass, excitement stirring inside her. His walk, his build, she'd know it from anywhere. But it couldn't be, could it? The man stopped and glanced upward at the sky and even from the second story window, Kathryn could make out the faint lines of his tattoo.  
  
"Chakotay," she breathed in disbelief. Swirling she turned to her mother. "It's Chakotay."  
  
"I know," said Gretchen, amusement dancing in her eyes.  
  
Kathryn opened her mouth and closed it, then tried again. Gretchen laughed. "I swear Kathryn, this is the second time I've made you speechless."  
  
"How?" asked Kathryn, tears gleaming in her eyes. "Why?"  
  
"Let's just say one of your wishes was granted," said Gretchen. Her expression turned serious. "You aren't alone, Kathryn. Go to him. He needs you just as just as much as you need him."  
  
"But Seven..."  
  
Gretchen shook her head. "There is no Seven. Just go," she encouraged.  
  
Kathryn turned away from the window, just as there was a knock on the door. Wringing her hands nervously, she took a deep breath to still the butterflies fluttering around in her stomach. Heading out the room she stopped as her mother called out to her. Turning, she looked back.  
  
"Be well, my Kathryn. I'll see you at the wedding."  
  
The wedding? Was that a hint? Another knock at the door jarred Kathryn into motion. Hastily wiping away the tears that flowed down her cheek, she smiled for what felt like the first time in years. It felt good.   
  
She stared at her mother, knowing their time together was coming to an end. "Oh mom, I wish..."  
  
"If wishes were horses, Kathryn. If wishes were horses..." she laughed softly and blew Kathryn a kiss. In a blink of an eye, she was gone. A giddiness spread through her as she ran down the stairs, opened the door and walked into the arms of her future.  
  
End 


End file.
